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ADOPTING ACROSS RACIAL LINES

     Much of the controversy over transracial adoptions is very well known. In our racist society, children of minority groups are subject to so much rejection. Will this be made much more difficult for them if they are placed with a family of a different racial background? The social questions sometimes seem overwhelming and for all practical purposes, unanswerable. The fact is that there are many children who need homes and who cannot be placed with families of the same race. Are they to stay in institutions and foster homes while the rest of us decide what is the best possible plan for them? We do not know what the next ten or twenty years will bring in the way of social change. We do know more about what children need in their growing up years. We know something about the special needs of adopted children.

     In our effort to cope with the largely unanswerable philosophical aspects of the issue, we have sometimes lost sight of the highly personal aspects of these adoptions. And these children are in need of adoption.

     Working out the conflicts involved in his own personal adoption dilemma is no less crucial for the mixed race child than for any other adopted child. That child's parents have every bit as much responsibility as any other adoptive parents to prepare themselves to help their children with this task.

     When prospective parents of a child of a different race are given a child's background information, they should ask themselves the same critical questions that all prospective adoptive parents should ask. Can you help these children understand why they needed to be separated from those who gave them birth? Can you help them ask questions and talk about feelings, without making them feel that you consider yourself superior to those who have given them life? These questions must be faced honestly, regardless of the race of those who hope to become the parents.

     If you are adopting children from overseas, you may have been given very little information about their origin. This may at first glance seem to simplify your task. But such a view is as naive as that of parents who ignore available information thinking that if they do not know, it will not be a problem. You have a responsibility to gather as much information as you possibly can. If you absolutely cannot get specific information about your child, you can learn as much as possible about conditions in the country at the time of placement so you can at least share with your child some of the possible reasons for placement.

     Certainly, race is an important part of any person's identity, and parents who adopt transracially must help children to learn everything possible about the history of their race. They must also be willing to cast in their lot with the children when they face the rebuffs inflicted upon them.

     Children who are placed transracially will have more than their share of hostility and cruelty to face. Your loving them and providing a secure home will not make these things go away. But it can help them to stand up to those realities.