If you expect to adopt a child past infancy, it would be a good idea to collect snapshots that can be used to help your prospective child feel more comfortable about meeting you. Later on, when you have some personal information about the child who will be presented to you, you can put the snapshots into a picture album with a few personalized notes. But in the meantime, the pictures can be ready. They might include pictures of all family members (including pets), pictures of your home (inside and out) and pictures of your car. Children love pictures of cars. You might want to send a few photos of special places where you anticipate having family outings. If you know where a child will be going to school, it would be interesting to show him or her a picture of that building. Photos of new relatives and friends who will become an important part of a child's future life can help a child feel more secure about this big venture. You will undoubtedly have some ideas to add to these suggestions. Don't worry about making your picture album into something that looks professional. Every book I have seen has been unique. I have yet to see a child who did not treasure his book.

     Another important step you can take is to find a pediatrician who will look after your child's medical needs. Be sure to make an appointment and talk with the physician before any placement occurs. Some doctors share with the general public many misconceptions about adoption. Some who may provide excellent medical care just simply do not understand why anyone would want to adopt. Because of the very nature of their professional position, such attitudes can be very disturbing to persons just newly involved in their role as parents. Let me give you a few illustrations.

     After examining an infant girl, one doctor told her new parents, This child has a heart murmur. I would not tell you this if she were 'your own'. I would just watch her. But since she is adopted, maybe you can turn her in on a new model.

     One couple who had made a very thoughtful decision about adopting an eight year old who was a slow learner, were very surprised by what they considered a harangue from a physician who angrily wanted to know if they realized this child would never be able to go to college.

     Some doctors have emphasized to adoptive parents that the child is at first with them for 'only a trial period', and they should not consider the placement permanent until they check out all the things that might possibly be wrong. Let it suffice to say that I hope you will select a physician who shows more understanding about adoption.

     Some people may feel strong enough in their convictions about what they are doing that they are willing to take on the added task of reeducating a doctor who they believe has otherwise demonstrated excellent medical skills. Most, however, would do better to seek out someone who has more understanding. After all, there are many who are both skillful and sensitive. If you are not familiar with any pediatricians, your local group of adoptive parents would be a good source of information.

     I do hope you will also use this time to have some fun. Take that trip you have been putting off. Learn to play tennis, or swim, or dance, or whatever it is you have been meaning to do 'sometime'. Because any new addition to a family will bring some added stress and tension, it is a good idea now to do what you can to solidify your present family relationships. Try doing those things which help you to relax and keep your sense of humor in good working order. That, perhaps more than almost anything else, will see you through the inevitable stresses and make life more pleasant to boot.