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HEREDITY

     Your son got into another fracas at school today.

     My son? How come every time something is wrong, he turns out to be my son?

     An unusual bit of conversation? Not at all. Most parents will recognize the argument. Sometimes when a child's behavior seems more than a parent feels up to handling, it is very natural to want to relieve oneself of any responsibility for the child. It is a temporary thing and common sense will soon take over, but the feeling is a normal one. With parents who have adopted their children, this may take the form of wondering about a child's heredity. If recognized for what it is, a temporary annoyance and need for escape from responsibility, the adoptive parent will, like any other parent, soon dismiss the matter. If, however, it should reflect a basic concern over what it is that a child inherits, it can become a very destructive factor in the parent/child relationship.

     What do we know about heredity? In the fourth century B.C. Hippocrates noted that, Bald people are descended from bald people, people with blue eyes from people with blue eyes, and squinting persons from squinting persons. But then just to make sure he added, At least in the majority of cases.

     Which is more important, heredity or environment? Which has the greater influence on a child's development? It seems that one year it is popular to emphasize environment and the next year it becomes a fad to stress heredity. In fact, the argument is for adopted children merely another facet of their 'dilemma'. It is pointless to argue over which has the greater relevance. They are inseparable.

     Certainly the child is physically the product of its heredity. Each of us has inherited the color of our eyes, color and texture of our hair, a tendency toward certain body builds and and height. Most observers of nurseries for newborns are convinced that temperament is inherited. From the very beginning certain babies seem quiet and cuddly, others aggressive and demanding. Most parents will bear out the fact that such traits continue throughout a lifetime. And what about intelligence? While it is generally believed that inheritance may play a strong role in determining just how intelligent a child can become, very few people ever come near achieving their potential.

     Although a child inherits physical, mental, and perhaps emotional 'equipment', there is certainly ample evidence that all of these are modified by experience. The development of such traits as honesty, compassion, concern for others, respect for self, is acquired and is dependent upon one's environment and training. Children with aggressive temperaments may become violent persons bent on achieving only their own ends or they may become extremely accomplished with the strength and energy necessary for becoming real leaders. Most genes depend to some degree upon their environment for their expression. It is possible that the child who had to be placed for adoption may have been born of parents who had serious social problems. This is undoubtedly because of lacks within their environment and not the result of inheritable weaknesses.

     When we speak of anyone's inheritance it is important to recognize we are talking about a random assortment of genes passed down through many generations; it is never so simple as considering the known attributes of just two people. Few of us can trace our parentage back more than a few generations. And those who can will surely know that included among all of our ancestors are people who have been capable of and have performed some of the most noble and some of the most lowly of acts.

     Every parent is faced with the same task. We must accept children as they are with an inheritance we can never really know, and help them become all they are capable of being.