She's a terrific kid. She just happens to need a wheelchair to get around.

     The foster father who made that comment was expressing a feeling common to many parents who know and love their children as children, not as handicapped children. They have taught us to change our thinking about the very term handicapped child. They have helped us to look at the child first, to get to know the child and all the things he or she can do.

     Many of the parents who are comfortable with and can enjoy these children have had some previous experience with individuals who have handicaps. Some have had a handicapped child of their own. Others have had handicapped relatives or close friends. Some have worked professionally with children and have come to realize that they enjoy helping children overcome problems associated with being handicapped.

     Can you accept a handicapped child as your foster child? Your answer may well be, that depends. Of course, it does depend. It depends upon the child, his personality, the severity of the handicap. It also depends upon your feelings as well as those of the child.

     You must be comfortable. At the same time, you must be realistic. Not to be realistic is to expose the child to more hurt than is necessary. Only by facing problems realistically can children be helped to handle their feelings about being different. When they are helped to handle these feelings, then they can better begin to work with the abilities they do have and to develop these as fully as possible.

     Earlier we discussed the importance of facing children's pain with them in order to help them master that pain. The same principle holds true here. To deny the problems is to deny the children the opportunity to work through their feelings. If children cannot talk about their feelings, they will not be able to overcome their hurt and learn to compensate in other ways.

     Can you accept a handicapped child as your foster child? The question is not fair. The fair question would be to ask whether you can consider a particular child who is handicapped.

     The parents who have been able to say Yes. have been very frank in looking at their own strengths and weaknesses, and have been able to match those strengths and weaknesses with their desire to care for a particular child. They are not afraid to ask for help when they need it. They are not afraid to demand help when the child needs it.

     If you are asked to accept a particular child who is handicapped, find out as much as you can about the child. Find out what resources are available to you. Talk it all out very frankly with your worker and with your family. Listen to what you hear yourself saying. Then, trust your feelings.

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